Page 104 and chapter 7 finds Tracy in a bad way. Her sense of humor eludes her completely under the circumstances. It's something of a challenge to convey the situation from Tracy's point of view and relate information and build up to a shocking revelation and do it at a pace which builds suspense and perhaps a sense of dread as the reader finds out particulars at the same time Tracy does.
There's a really fine line which divides showing and telling, showing being the most highly desired form of writing. In the first person POV, just about everything is "telling," and I don't think there's anything to be done about it. The trick is to have Tracy tell it while it's happening to her, even though it's all in past tense as if it has already happened. I'm not sure I can characterize the challenge any better than that it is tricky. What it requires is many re-readings of the passage, reworking sentences, and sometimes changing the order of each step.
The best technique I've found is to imagine the whole scene happening as though I am watching a movie, with a narrator's voice filling in Tracy's thoughts, observations, and feelings. "Take the reader where the action is" is yet another rule for writing fiction. That's how the reader is able to share the experience, whatever it may be. As I "watch" Tracy on this one, it gives a little thrill of danger and awe. Now I just have to convey that in words.
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